Thursday, May 27, 2004

Life's Mysteries, Plus Some Pringles 

I sure am updating a lot this month. Don't know why, either. Maybe the warm weather makes me talkative.

This is surreal. I'm currently sitting in front of the computer watching traffic pass on the highway outside of the window to my left. Below the window is my printer, and resting on the uneven surface of the printer is sitting a can of Ranch-Rageous Pringles. The air conditioner is blowing against the can, which is making it rock slightly. The surreal part is that I'm listening to "Requiem" by the Rev. Brendan Powell Smith, and the rocking Pringles can is keeping perfect tempo with the music.

Perhaps it's picking up the reverberating sound waves of the Polk Audio speakers contained in the general vicinity, causing it to rock in the manner which I have described. I suppose it's one of those questions for the ages. Definitely in the top ten, anyway.

The Top 10 Greatest Questions

10. Why do nearly all female musicians suck?
9. What is HAARP really for?
8. What is the AARP really for?
7. Why is Jennifer Lopez's ass so huge?
6. Why do some guys obsess so much over their penis size?
5. What ever happened to Eddie Money?
4. What the hell is with that can of Pringles?
3. Why do people think Colin Quinn is funny?
2. Why are American politics so boring?
1. What about love? Don't you want someone to care about you?

Think about those carefully. It might help if you get into the lotus position and close your eyes. Try humming a lot, too. If you can answer any of these questions, you have reached enlightenment.

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