Monday, April 25, 2005

Pugnacious Kerfuffle With a Vengeance 

--What is the deal with Stargate SG-1? The Sci-Fi channel shows like seven hours of this damn show every Monday night, then continues showing it throughout the week. Playing any show on a schedule like that is downright bizarre, but this show as a bonus completely sucks. At least 45 minutes is spent in each hour long show showing a bunch of military guys running around in the woods shooting a lot of fake ass lasers at everything. And wait a second...the woods? If I remember the movie correctly, the alternate dimension was a DESERT. I know the show is filmed in Vancouver, but hell, so were first few seasons of The X-Files, and they had desert scenes in some episodes. Just dump some red food coloring into a rock quarry. Instant desert. But no...just just shift it to the woods instead, because we're lazy.

It also makes the same old mistakes Star Trek did, such as alien beings not really being alien, just being black guys wearing a lot of makeup. You know this guy is an alien, BECAUSE HE'S BLACK AND HAS SOME SORT OF SPIRAL PATTERN IN HIS FOREHEAD! DUDE, THAT'S LIKE, SO CRAZY AND ALIEN AND STUFF!

Oh well, at least they took Tremors: The Series off the air.

--People mispronounce everything:

You look in the mirror, not the "meer".
You drink milk, not "melk".
Mischievous is pronounced "mischief-vus", not "mis-chee-vee-us".
Porsche is pronounced "Porsha", not just "Porsh".
On a similar note, Audi is "Ow-dee", not "Aw-dee".
When you buy a bedroom suite, that's a "sweet", not a "suit".
En route is pronounced "on root" or "on rout", not "in root" or "in rout".
Haute is pronounced "oat", not "hawt".

Learn this shit, folks, I'm tired of correcting you.

--I'm getting tired of people misusing the word "ego". The word is supposed to refer to one's self esteem, but is also defined as an inappropriate love for oneself. Any time someone stands up for himself for any reason or actually sticks to his principles, people say he has a big ego. Like the only reason he doesn't accept what's handed to him is because he thinks he's better. No, he doesn't have principles and a strong sense of character and honor, he's just conceited and stubborn.

People (women are especially bad about this, but you hear it from men a lot too) will often get some sort of penis comment in there, too. Oh yeah. If someone doesn't allow himself to be pushed around, he must have a small penis. Am I the only one who doesn't see a connection there? You might as well conclude that his thumbs aren't the same length. So by this logic, Cool Hand Luke and Vanishing Point were about self-important stubborn assholes with small penises. Yeah. Now it all makes sense.

Everyone today has this weird concept of "I'll accept any degree of disgrace, as long as I'm safe", and will attack anyone who doesn't subscribe to the same point of view. These people often wallow around in the shallow cesspool of modern life, perfectly content to walk around in the mall yacking on mobile phones buying (imitation) high-end merchandise and pursuing their own selfish goals, since they have their entire lives planned out ahead of time and don't think that anything could ever possibly get in the way of their all-important plans.

That, dear readers, is ego.

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