Tuesday, May 25, 2004

Pugnacious Kerfuffle 

Cell phones are now wireless phones. We don't know why, apparently they don't use the cellular system for setting up towers anymore. So now they're "wireless". Screw you, they're cell phones. It's still the same dipshit junk-buckets walking around in Wal-Mart yapping on them about where they are right now. Ever notice that? If you ever pass somebody in Wal-Mart talking on a cell phone, notice that they're always saying "Yeah, I'm in Wal-Mart right now" into it. They do it every time. I don't think they're even talking to anyone. They're just pretending to so everyone will think that they're upper-middle class, when in fact they're lower-middle class. Portable phones still have that early '90s prestige attached to them. AND WHY THE HELL DO THEY PLAY MUSIC? Couldn't they just ring? And if it's a song you really like, would you want to hear the whole thing, rather than answer your phone?

Grossly fat people suck. Fad dieters suck, too, but I'm really getting tired of these fat-asses who weigh so much that they can't walk, so they sit on their lard in wheelchairs while stuffing their fat fucking faces with Big Mac. "Excuse me, ma'am, did I get in the way of your ASS? YOU'RE TAKING UP THE WHOLE RESTAURANT!" Tell them to lose some weight, or else get somebody to wheel them through the drive-through. Of off a cliff. I wouldn't miss them.

I get so tired of high school graduates making angst-filled comments about deciding what college they'll go to. Just go to any of them. No one pays attention to what college your degree comes from, as long as you have one. Feel friggin' priviledged to be able to go to a college in the first place, some of us aren't able to. And quit arguing with your parents about it. Especially if they're the ones paying for it. Count your lucky stars and just go to one of them. And parents, if your kid is hell-bent on going to college in Stumpfuck Ohio, by all means let them. Don't try to influence them to go to the same college you did to carry on some goofy family tradition you made up.

I feel a lot better now. I may have to do more of these in the future.

Psst...between you and me, I think Skid's lost it.

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