Sunday, January 18, 2004

Oh Despair, Children Are Everywhere 

You see them everywhere in public. Usually loud, obnoxious, and very not cute. I'm referring to children...and we have entirely too many of them in the world.

First of, I am not anti-child. I don't particularly like children, but I do recognize the need for a number of them to continue the human race. But do we really need as many of them as we have? God damn, we have over 6 billion people in the world, and every one of them is not obligated to reproduce. That's right, you fanatical compulsive breeders, we are not all obligated to have children.

This is an idea that we've had crammed into our skulls since we were very small...the idea that we should all one day marry and reproduce. Marriage is a subject I'll touch on in another entry, so let's focus on reproduction. We have a gazillion and one people in this country who don't particularly like or want children, but they have them anyway because they feel that that's what is expected of them. Also, it's a chance for immortality; I guess the idea of living without a legacy is like living without a god for some people, and they just can't handle the concept. This is the primary reason why there are so many single parents and abused children in this country and indeed the whole world: Too many people are reproducing, when the job should be left to those who not only actually want to reproduce, but can financially afford it and who are willing to change their entire way of life (because believe me, you can't remain carefree once you're "domesticated"). If you absolutely love and want children, have them. After all, too much negative population growth sucks. On the other hand, if you're not sure whether or not you should have children, take my advice and for the sake of the entire world, fucking DON'T.

The biggest part of this whole rant for me, though, is the way that the child-free are viewed by society. As a person who has chosen to remain child-free for the rest of his life, I'm seen as being defective. Some even call child-free people selfish. This is bullshit in it's purest form. Pardon me, you oversexed fucksockets, but why do you insist on having children? To pass on your family name? So you won't die alone? Isn't that selfish, rather than trying to keep down the number of people on our overpopulated planet? How about when we run out of natural resources because some of you couldn't keep your genitals covered? And if abortion is outlawed, this will only get worse. Just what the world needs: More friggin' unwanted pregnancies.

On the subject of unwanted pregnancies: I can't count the number of times I've heard young, married women say "I'm pregnant now. My husband and I wanted to wait to have kids, but God had different plans". Excuse me, did your god keep your suck-ass husband from wearing a condom? If you don't like male contraceptives, fine, start taking pills, they're effective enough. Where is the law written that married people are for some reason incapable of using birth control? Apart from you damn Catholics out there, I mean.

Or here's one for those of you who actually do want children, why not adopt? There are currently FAR more children going up for adoption every year than there are parents willing to adopt them. Instead of insisting on adding your genetic material to the ever-growing pool, why not do more to take care of the people we have?

The army of flaky, neurotic, poorly-raised children are descending upon us, and we really need to do something about their ever-increasing number. All of this because too many people compulsively reproduce. Please, don't think of the children, think of the people.

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