Sunday, November 14, 2004

Pugnacious Kerfuffle Strikes Back 

-- So the Sci-Fi channel has some new shows out, one of which is Ghost Hunters, which I've rather enjoyed thus far. I looked forward to it prior to its premiere and for the most part have not been disappointed. However, there was another show I was looking forward to that I have been disappointed with, called Proof Positive. This was supposed to be a show that seriously (and scientifically) investigated claims of the paranormal. Unfortunately, the result is the exact washed-out load of shit I was afraid it would be.

Every episode has three cases, and by the end of the episode one will be judged false, one inconclusive, and one proof positive. This is incredibly goddamn stupid. If you go into an investigation with a pre-conceived notion that it will be one of the three, you aren't being objective. When they're making the show, they know ahead of time that one of the cases has to fit in one of these particular brackets. So suppose they're all inconclusive (as is usually the case with paranormal investigation)? Well, they'll throw in some bullshit evidence at one case and say it's proof positive (He passed a lie-detector test! That's irrefutable proof he's reincarnated!), or use some bullshit way to throw the case out (We spent one night there and didn't see any ghosts, so that's proof that the place isn't haunted). What a load.

-- Next year they're remaking Oh God. Remember that one? George Burns is God, John Denver is a loser (great casting)? Except this time Ellen DeGeneres is going to be playing God. They're obviously only casting her due to the publicity it will receive casting a woman (and doubly, a LESBIAN) as God. I find all media-whoring, especially overt media-whoring like that, to be downright boring. But even more disgusting is the inevitable reaction from uptight people everywhere. Why, in that lovely AFA Monthly Journal that I did an entry on recently, they mentioned this in their news section, saying "Apparently it wasn't enough for actress and comedian Ellen DeGeneres to push the homosexual lifestyle on her sitcom Ellen..." Oh yeah. Naturally if a lesbian plays God, God will be a lesbian. And you gotta love that homosexual "lifestyle". Because gay people "choose" to be gay, right?

I wonder about people who say shit like that. First of all, to have sex, one must be aroused. If these people believe one can choose to be aroused by a member of the same sex, that must mean that they have been aroused by members of the same sex before. Therefore, anyone who calls homosexuality a "lifestyle" is a latent homosexual. At least that's what I think, love it or shove it. Just try not to enjoy the shoving part too much.

-- I hate modern slang. It's so puerile. I'm not going to "peep" anything, but I'll look at it if you ask me to. Likewise, I won't get too worked up over a woman "doing a milkshake", although I might take notice if I see one dancing. A rich man is not a "baller". Calling someone a "pimp" is not a compliment. And although I may become euphoric, I'll never be "crunk". Not to mention any word that can conveivably be modified with the suffix "-izzle".

Another one that bugs me, although it's ridiculously common now, is "my bad". I first heard this phrase used when I was in the 7th grade, and I seriously thought that the person who said it to me was mentally retarded. It sounds like something a fucking toddler would say, sort of like saying "What's her doing" instead of "What's she doing". It's as if the people have never heard the word "mistake" before.

One of my slang pet-peeves is "sick". Since when did "sick" mean anything other than twisted or disgusting? Now suddenly it means "cool"? I think not. Oh yeah, and part of my philosophy is, if someone calls you "dog", they're asking for an ass-kicking.

Now, peace out. Whatever the hell that means.

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