Tuesday, October 05, 2004

Monday People? Sheesh. 

If you've read the past entries in my blog, you may remember the radio station I listen to: 93.5 "The Buzz". They were the ones running that whole "Fuck Cancer in the Ass" drive. 93.5 is owned by "The Radio People", some pissy little media conglomerate that apparently can't get enough employees. Quite a remarkable achievement in an area with such high unemployment. The Radio People have been playing ads begging for employees for at least two months now...and apparently still can't get them. If you ever heard their ads, you'd know why.

The spots feature nothing other than some redneck-ass sounding old woman talking. There are at least three of these ads. In one of them, she spends practically 2 minutes reading off a list of cliches (this is paraphrased):

It's never too late to change your station in life. There's no power in small goals. Your future starts tomorrow. The decisions you make now effect your life. The early bird gets the worm. A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. A rolling stone gathers no moss. Loose lips sink ships. Six of one, half dozen of the other. Look before you leap. All employees must wash hands before returning to kitchen. You can ring my bell, ring my bell.

Finally she gets around to saying The Radio People are hiring. But just as bad is another ad, and the one I more often hear:

Pay attention: You may not hear this message again.
That's what you said the first time I heard it. And each subsequent time, as well.

There are two kinds of people in the world: Monday People and Sunday People.
I thought the two kinds of people in the world were males and females? Live people and dead people? Or maybe we're both oversimplifying.

Sunday People live completely for the weekend, and can't wait for the day to finish. Monday People can't wait for the week to begin. They love their jobs so much, they'd even do it for free if they didn't have to make a living. If you're a Monday person, we want to hear from you.
So in other words, you're looking for losers who immerse themselves completely in their jobs? People who would be willing to work for free? Bullshit. Can we say "unrealistic goal"?

Both ads end saying "Send us your resume, and a letter convincing us why you're the one for us". Ummm...I'm sorry, isn't determining which candidate is the correct one YOUR job? How the hell should I know if I'm qualified or not? The applicant sends his resume, you determine if he is qualified, and if he is, HIRE HIM. Isn't that the way it's always traditionally worked?

Hey Radio People...work on your bullshit a little, and maybe I'll consider gracing you with my resume. Until then, you can keep wondering why no one is joining your "team".

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