Rat-tarded

Today I'm going to break my streak of "multiple parts of a retarded story that nobody cares about" and go back to writing about something that bugs me. And this rant is inspired by a video I saw recently, of a pit bull puppy playing with a rat. Or more appropriately by the comments left on it.

Here is the video in question: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zbPW6iF98eo

Seems innocent enough, at least to me. A pit bull puppy playing with a rat, perhaps a bit roughly, and then the rat runs away. Cute, really. But not to the self-righteous, passive-aggressive masses. Below is a sampling of some of the wonderful comments left on this video:


From doggpower2233:

yes i have had rats for 9 year when they spueaks it hurt or pissed god ur so grrr poor thing i hope ur rat bites u in the face

I have to be honest: For a moment, I thought "god ur so grrr poor thing" was some sort of expression of sympathy to the poster of the video, but then was blindsided by "i hope ur rat bites u in the face." Wow, I'll bet that would show 'em, wouldn't it? The rat, obviously being completely cognizant of whatever the fuck it was about this video that offended YouTube champ "doggpower2233," should punish its owner with a "bite to u face."


But it gets worse. From bradrats:

poor little rat i hope u die!!!!! u should not own them if ur gunna do that ur evil and die in hell u bastard!!!!! u r so crule to animals

Wait a minute....did he just wish death on the poor little rat? And he wants it to die in hell? Don't you have to die first, in order to go to hell? Or have I forgotten my Judeo-Christian teachings somewhere along the way? In any case, he's quick to point out (apparently still to the rat) that it's "crule" to animals....and what could be worse than that?


Well, this comment from LodernaiVicious, for starters:

If you were my child I would have kicked you in the head and taken your pets to a shelter. Both pup and rat were in danger, you moron...

Yes, and your child would be in no way in danger if you kicked him in the fucking head. Sounds like a real stand up guy....


Then here's some wannabe rat psychology, courtesy of costernocht:

If the rat is squeaking, it's being hurt. This is cruel.

Rats only squeak when they're in pain. Duly noted.


Some obliqueness, courtesy of theLORDofSKATE:

YOU TIGHT BASTARD

.....is that a compliment?


Some self-importance from CahillandDelene:

Just the title this person chose says volumes. Fighting for survival. Pit bulls should be banned everywhere. And rats are wonderful pets. This poster is a jerk and trying to get away with something that looks "cute".

Yeah? Well I think rats should be banned everywhere, and pit bulls make wonderful pets. Enjoy your fucking bubonic plague.


A comment from the somehow appropriately named EvilSnooche:

Dude ur retarded..did YOU watch the video? Poor rat was getting mauled with no where do go until the end there where it finally got away.... Animal right faggots? I hope one day u get eaten alive by coyotes. I bet more ignorant people like u will be calling others human rights faggots too. now go back to ur deluxe trailer.

First of all, I won't even address the irony of "ur retarded." Second, to say the rat was getting mauled, when it pretty fucking obviously wasn't injured, it ridiculous. I'm guessing this winner hasn't actually seen a proper "mauling" in his life. And third, you don't get to compare animal rights to human rights when you just wished for a human to be eaten alive by coyotes.

As for the "deluxe trailer" comment, I have no idea, though I can only assume it's some sort of dig at someone being poor, as if EvilSnooche hadn't already shown himself to enough of an insult to mankind in general with the rest of his post.


Then there's DBNskiller:

Dude if i ever meat you in real life you dont wanna know how badly i fuck you up, believe me i would swear to god ill rip your eyeballs out and shit on them.

WARNING: INTERNET TOUGH GUY AHEAD.

And easy to say, too, considering the video poster is from South Africa and DBNskiller is from the Netherlands, at least according to both of their profiles. It's always easy to threaten somebody you'll never have any chance of meeting.


I was surprised at the following timely, intelligent, and well-thought out comment courtesy of Banger606:

You're a fucking bastard. You're a fucking bastard. A shit fuck too. You're a fucking bastard. You're a fucking bastard ...

It's Not Funny !!! piss die mother fucker die mother fucker!!!

Gee, do you think he believes the video poster to be a fucking bastard? Or indeed, a shit fuck?


Wishful thinking from KakaoAndWhippedCream:

I hope you die.

No, not the rat nor the dog. just YOU.

Unfortunately, KakaoAndWhippedCream, they're all going to die, eventually. Hope you're okay with that.


From oliverotcasek:

I hope you die but before that know everyone hates you.

Well, oliverotcasek, I KNOW you'll die eventually, assuming you're mortal. And sometime before you do, I hope you realize that someone has preserved your idiotic, spiteful comment and posted your YouTube ID along with it.


A direct threat from the ironically named noneofyourbusiness65:

you mean person!! im thinking of calling animal rights activists on your behind!!!!!!!!

Scary....


More helmet-wearing mental retardation, from thes0rleymussed:

That is not harmless play-it's toying with that rat. It would have eventually killed it-with stress if nothing else. I really hope you get raped by a fucking 6 foot 20 stone bubba..see how it feels, you fucking ride cunt bitch whore animal abuser. BURN IN HELL, CUNT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!­!!!!!!!!!!!

If there's one thing I can't help but notice in these comments, it's people making incredibly sadistic and inhumane comments at someone they perceive to be sadistic and inhumane.

Now I ask you, which is worse: Letting a rat and a puppy play roughly, or telling a woman you hope she gets RAPED and calling her a cunt, among other things? I know the answer to that, and I'm hoping you know the answer to that, but thes0rleymussed? He doesn't, and the world is worse off for having him in it. And the world is worse off still for someone who abuses the exclamation point so severely. Look at how angry I am!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Closing, I think this quote from djabsy1 sums it all up perfectly:

THAT IS SHOCKEN !!!!

And there you have it. Somebody sees a video that reflects something he or she personally would not do, and then goes into full-on self-righteousness mode, appalled at how "SHOCKEN" it all seems to someone who has never seen it. A normal person would say, "Gee, the Orkin man is more of a danger to rats than this person," yet sadly, most people are far from reasonable.

In short, if you're so worked up over a YouTube video that doesn't depict anything abnormally harsh that you actually wish DEATH upon the person who uploaded it, then you you need to grow the fuck up. A rat is a goddamn rat, and while I don't condone genuine cruelty to them, you're not going to hurt their feelings or traumatize them for life by letting a dog play with them. Stop anthropomorphizing your pet vermin; life isn't a cartoon.

Pictured: Not real life